No one, not even the most angelic of housemates, can avoid these terrible, terrible crimes. Hey, it happens. We were sold a false dream that being in your mid to late twenties and thirties would be all loft apartments, Friends-esque hangouts and Two Guys And A Girl wit. Fast forward and your living in a house with a few strangers or pals or a partner and, after the excitement of the new company has worn off you have only gone bac to your true, real, weird/messy/snoring/naked/not-your-food-but-you’re-eating-it-anyway self.
In the spirit of self-improvement and all that, here’s GAFF’s top seven housemate faux pas that, if guilty, you need to know. Now. Like, immediately. Please stop doing that. Just stop.
1.Not chipping in
Isn’t it brill the way the loo role and bin bags and Fairy Washing Up Liquid never runs out? Actually, it does! And your very on-the-ball housemate got your back. Next time the detergent is low for the love of god replenish. Before, someday, they break and stab you in the neck.
2. Leaving the immersion on
We’re about to go all Irish mammy on your ass. Seriously?! We’ll be broke!! Turn the bloody thing OFF! Is it made of money you think we are?
3. The gathering … of mugs
You know you own an unnecessary number of mugs and yet, when you need tea, there are none to be found. And you know where they are? On the floor of your housemate’s bedroom, growing mold and/or fusing with the dried out green tea bags stuck to them. The hoarding must be stopped.
4. Public grooming
Let’s just say this: it is NEVER, ever the time to clip your toenails in the living room. Or wax your ronnie in the kitchen. Anything that even resembles personal grooming should be done away from us. Our eyes are bleeding.
5. Netflix offenses
You might love nothing better than a Gilmore Girls marathon but (and we don’t really understand this either) apparently not everyone is into dissecting the nuances of Jess and Rory’s relationship for, oh say, seven hours straight. So maybe don’t.
6. Being that way-too-chipper morning person
Singing, twirling and being productive at an ungodly hour is maybe the most heinous of all housemate traits. Guilty as charged.
7. The dreaded drain
Not cleaning your hair from the shower drain. I mean. Need we say more? Burned at the stake, you shall be.
Hands up – who’s s re-evaluating their lives?